Showing posts from September, 2017


On a related note, remember your thoughts are just thoughts.  Your current worries may come from real experiences— maybe your mom left your dad or your heart was broken by your last partner. But remember those relationships are different than the one you have now. Your thoughts are thoughts, not reality itself.  So test out a tool called metacognition, or thinking about your thoughts.  Catch the thoughts that spike your jealousy: “He thinks she’s prettier than me.” “She’s going to happy hour with her friends because she’s not interested in me Paris anymore.” “He’s always looking at other girls.” 

Jealousy makes you think the problem is with your partner, but it’s likely that the problem is those angry and worried thoughts.  So put those thoughts under a bright light and see them for what they are: just thoughts.  Your next step isn’t to suppress them, which doesn’t work anyway, but to notice them when they creep up.  You don’t need info to take any actio…

In common parlance, the term “jealous” often gets used in place of “envious,” as in “Your company sent you to Paris againI’m so jealous!” But in psychology, the two are distinct: roughly, envy is when you want what belongs to someone else, whereas jealousy is when you are threatened by the prospect of losing something (or someone) that belongs to you.  For example, when you covet your friend’s sexy new leather boots, that’s envy. But when you notice your husband’s eye follow those boots across the room, that’s jealousy.

And jealousy is complicated—it’s a swirling green mix of several negative emotions. According to a 2008 paper by Paris escorts psychologists Robert Leahy and Dennis Tirch of Weill Cornell Medical College, jealousy is a form of angry, agitated worry.  It’s rooted in threat of loss—usually the threat of losing a relationship.  As it happens, that same 2008 paper is chock-full of great ways to fight your jealousy, so here is the cream of t…